Roy and Reg: Two mutually exclusive independent personalities residing within one male human being. The archetypal janus man.
Roy and Reg explained:
Roy: generally sober; punctual and dependable. Altruistic early riser and regular contributor to worthy causes. Always there when needed. Demonstrates a ceaseless commitment to doing right by everyone, especially his significant other and any offspring he may have fathered. Roy has a ‘to do’ list and regularly checks in with it and updates it. He schedules quality time with his family. If he says he’s going Christmas shopping he actually goes shopping and returns on time, with gifts and sober. Brilliant baby sitter.
Reg: generally pissed; seldom anywhere he’s supposed to be; fiercely anti-establishment; nocturnal frequenter of establishments popular with ladies of dubious reputation; unruly; ferrel and impulsive craver of sensual pleasure; dopamine addict. Can’t be trusted alone with unmarried women. Much more fun at a party than Roy. Terrible babysitter.
Think of yourself as a vehicle with a steering wheel – for the following to be maintained we recommend allowing Reg at the wheel for no more than 10% of the time (exact percentages depend on age, mental stability and seriousness of spouse and authorities):
Remember though, Roy cannot exist without Reg, and Reg would very quickly find himself in serious trouble without Roy. As a wise man once said, “Exorcise your demons and your angels might leave too’.
Long live Roy and Reg.
Roy and Reg explained:
Roy: generally sober; punctual and dependable. Altruistic early riser and regular contributor to worthy causes. Always there when needed. Demonstrates a ceaseless commitment to doing right by everyone, especially his significant other and any offspring he may have fathered. Roy has a ‘to do’ list and regularly checks in with it and updates it. He schedules quality time with his family. If he says he’s going Christmas shopping he actually goes shopping and returns on time, with gifts and sober. Brilliant baby sitter.
Reg: generally pissed; seldom anywhere he’s supposed to be; fiercely anti-establishment; nocturnal frequenter of establishments popular with ladies of dubious reputation; unruly; ferrel and impulsive craver of sensual pleasure; dopamine addict. Can’t be trusted alone with unmarried women. Much more fun at a party than Roy. Terrible babysitter.
Think of yourself as a vehicle with a steering wheel – for the following to be maintained we recommend allowing Reg at the wheel for no more than 10% of the time (exact percentages depend on age, mental stability and seriousness of spouse and authorities):
- Relationships (marriages etc…)
- Careers
- Home ownership
- Liberty
Remember though, Roy cannot exist without Reg, and Reg would very quickly find himself in serious trouble without Roy. As a wise man once said, “Exorcise your demons and your angels might leave too’.
Long live Roy and Reg.
Roy'n'Regism
Summed up quite beautifuly by a Reg
In the deepest recesses of your mind
Live two men i think you'll find
Both love to live life on the edge
Ones called Roy, the other Reg
Now Roy he is a diamond bloke
Up for a beer, a laugh and joke
A true free spirit, who longs to travel
Roy'll fix it... not Jimmy Saville!
Dependable, unto the last
He lives for now, and not the past
He has no place for want and wealth
Thinks of others above himself
Roy is there when others fail
Roy's the ship, the wind and sail
Roy's pure good, with no rough edge
Well only one... his brother Reg
Reg he is the darker side
He loves the rollercoaster ride
Thinks much more about himself
Pornography, and wads of wealth
Reg he longs to sleeps with pro's
Lap dancing joints, dirty sex shows
Smokes the draw, and drinks the whisky
Phones chat lines to keep him frisky
Reg - award winning muff diver
Would sell his granny for a fiver
The kinda guy your missus would hate
The kinda guy you are.... when shes out late.....
Roy.. the side that always cares
Reg.. the side who always dares
Roy.. the side that people see
Reg.. the one you'd love to be
So now just look inside you mind
And gaze at those two blokes you'll find
Roy and Reg together, now hears the deal...
Which one is sitting at your wheel?
Summed up quite beautifuly by a Reg
In the deepest recesses of your mind
Live two men i think you'll find
Both love to live life on the edge
Ones called Roy, the other Reg
Now Roy he is a diamond bloke
Up for a beer, a laugh and joke
A true free spirit, who longs to travel
Roy'll fix it... not Jimmy Saville!
Dependable, unto the last
He lives for now, and not the past
He has no place for want and wealth
Thinks of others above himself
Roy is there when others fail
Roy's the ship, the wind and sail
Roy's pure good, with no rough edge
Well only one... his brother Reg
Reg he is the darker side
He loves the rollercoaster ride
Thinks much more about himself
Pornography, and wads of wealth
Reg he longs to sleeps with pro's
Lap dancing joints, dirty sex shows
Smokes the draw, and drinks the whisky
Phones chat lines to keep him frisky
Reg - award winning muff diver
Would sell his granny for a fiver
The kinda guy your missus would hate
The kinda guy you are.... when shes out late.....
Roy.. the side that always cares
Reg.. the side who always dares
Roy.. the side that people see
Reg.. the one you'd love to be
So now just look inside you mind
And gaze at those two blokes you'll find
Roy and Reg together, now hears the deal...
Which one is sitting at your wheel?
